Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This beer is not sobering me up at all
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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