you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
