so explain again why im purple
no
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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