She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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