i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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