No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
