Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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