I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
COCAINE IS GR8
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
