So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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