You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
