elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
