actually, I'm a sock model
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
