yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
