we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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