I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
