I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
