i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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