I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
