how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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