i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
