i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
