Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
