So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
