if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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