Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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