sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
