and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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