so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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