At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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