PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
