yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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