just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
