Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
