Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
