Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
