I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
