Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
