He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
