so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
