Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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