i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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