normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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