i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
