ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
