So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
