My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
