Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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