Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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