I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
