dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
