I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
