HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
