It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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