How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i would punch a child for taco bell
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
