Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.