hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.