I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
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And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was