she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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