Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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