my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I party with great urgency now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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